Art Tour

This morning I met up with Caroline; we had planned to go to see the Rachel Whiteread show Detached at the Gagosian Gallery.
We met at St Pancras station, under Paul Day's Kiss statue. Caroline told me how the art establishment had turned their snooty noses up at it, because it is figurative; I thought it beautiful and I loved the small bronze tableaux underneath it, parts of which have been polished by being touched. I noticed the tiny dog first, which had been patted to a yellow gleam; the patina of the bronze had emerged from its dull finish. Caroline took me round to the other side to see the little hand of a child in a miniature scene, which at that very moment was being held by a little child. That too was shiny and yellow, polished by human contact.
The Gagosian Gallery is a stone's throw from Kings Cross station; we pushed the huge door open and came upon a beautiful poem about songs and sheds which I was allowed to photograph but not to put here on the blog. It reminded me of what I call the universal address, the reverse version of which I use to teach students the importance of homing in on a tiny seed to grow a thesis from:

Me
My room
My house
My street
My town
My county
My country
My island/continent
My hemisphere
The world
The solar system
The universe.

The gallery is a gracious space, lit from above with a silencing diffuse light. Three concrete sheds made of bluey-grey concrete stood in a line, inside-out and solid. There was something of the elephant about them. You could walk around them and they begged to be touched.... but be warned!
Nothing makes a security guard leap across a room faster than an attempt to touch a concrete shed!
In the next room, thick castings of doors and windows in pastel-coloured glass leaned casually against the wall. I think Rachel Whiteread's work is funny: things you might imagine in a fleeting moment, things that are so normal they appear to be insignificant, are made solid through a massive amount of effort, and become useless in their tribute form. As Caroline said, she 'materialises the idea'. We talked to a friendly security assistant called Andy and asked him what he thought of the artworks. I don't think he had a great connection with them but he told us about an exhibition called After the War at The Pace Gallery that he said was the best exhibition he had ever seen.
Next we went over to Cork Street, which sadly is due for demolition in perhaps the clearest example of philistinism one could possibly find. 'Yes! Let's destroy a community of art galleries and build flats instead' chirp the property developers (who have paintings on their corporate walls that they do not even see). And the government, from its position of weak economic mess riddled with networks of secret deals with property developers, rolls over and lets them scratch its tummy. Bless!
So what did we find? A brash and colourful exhibition by Richard Woods called D.I.Y. at the Alan Cristea Gallery; some truly lovely Rousseau  and Luigi Loir paintings at The Medici Gallery; and best of all, Elizabeth Frink at Beaux Arts, sketches, paintings and sculpture.

Royal Limp at Corsica Studios

Corsica Studios is tucked down behind the Elephant and Castle and as a venue/rehearsal studio has been there for 30 years without changing one iota. Inside, it has the feel of an evil circus tent, decked with black drapes in some places and scuffed and well-used in others. Almost cave-like, it forms a womb for all kinds of musical activities, but mostly those that involve guitars: the land of rock!
This part of London morphs constantly, so it was extraordinary to find the place so unchanged.
I dived into the crowd, who were a stylish mixture of men and women, partly perhaps because the headline act, Bleached, reputedly owe a lot to Riot Grrl.
Royal Limp took to the stage and buckled on their weapons: in this case a rather smart Fender Jaguar, a semi-acoustic guitar, bass drums and electronic keyboard, before crashing into their first number which was a Velvet Underground-inspired introduction to a set that often referenced that iconic band, alongside The Fall (they did a fantastic cover of Your Heart Out).
OOF-A-THWACKA OOF-A-THWACKA! the drums commanded us to dance, and by the fourth (as yet untitled) song they were well into their stride. Sometimes the bass was to the forefront, fuzz riffs bursting out of vintage speakers; the lead guitar wove and stabbed through the mix, echoing the best of Sterling Morrison. To one side, the keyboard player stood as cool as a cucumber providing a steady wall of chords to underpin the noise. Singer Andy commanded the microphone with aplomb and he provides a strong focal point above the clamouring of the band behind him.
All too soon, he announced the last song, which began with a punchy drum rhythm; the organ played a sinister motif snaking through the wall of guitar noise which attacked the song like a swarm of angry wasps.
Ears buzzing, I headed home to land of beige: this had been an inspiring gig! Roll on the next one.

https://www.facebook.com/RoyalLimp

Stock Just In- Helen and the Horns Etc Albums

The Peel sessions will be out later this year on Damaged Goods, but until then I have some more of these (which I couldn't get hold of for a while). Paypal only to helen_mccookerybook @yahoo.co.uk, £12.00 including p & p

In the Kitchen with McCookerybook

The kitchen has morphed from an intensive marking depot this morning into a recording studio this afternoon. A broom-handle is doubling as a pop-shield holder (got annoyed at the thought of putting up a mike-stand because I was annoyed at my guitar-playing) and I have just recorded an acoustic demo of an old song which started life as a sound-track for a feminist TV series right at the start of Channel 4 (it was called Pictures of Women). At the time I also wrote 14 acapella jingles, one of which went 'I'm Venus de Milo, a head and a torso, I'm sleeveless and armless and totally harmless....'
Anyway, I wrote lyrics for the instrumental and with Lester Square (Monochrome Set guitarist) and Mike Slocombe (he of urban75.com) added it to a set of songs called Herms which had a series of 24 massive projected drawings and which I did at the Umoja theatre in Camberwell and the Tristan Bates Theatre in the West End amongst other places.
So here it is today, on Spanish guitar, driving me mad because I can't get the 'feel' of the instrumental section right. I need another shot at it, but not today because I have got headphone ears.
But I have learned quite a lot about Logic plug-ins while messing about with it.
I also dreamed up a song for Miriam in the middle of the night last week. I am going to send her a version to see if she likes it; but it involves strumming which is not my strong point.
So for the rest of the afternoon it's strumfest time until beans-on-toast time, which is when the kitchen will finally be used for the purpose for which it was intended.

Veronique's Photo from Friday

Not Intending To Write A Review Of The Borderline Gig

Sorry not to have reviewed Friday's Borderline gig but I am so knackered.
It was a fantastic night and it was interesting to see that Martin can pull such a large crowd even on his own without it officially being a Daintees gig (although John and Kate joined him and the Jims Hornsby and Morrison later on).
Jim Hornsby asked me what they sounded like- difficult to say! A bit like Bill Keith without the double bass and banjo, but with much better songs. Quite floaty, very string band-y.
The audience weren't nearly as noisy as they are when it's a full band and they did a lot of very tuneful singing along- to Little Red Bottle and Crocodile Cryer in particular. The Daves (Cowan, down from Ross-shire to promote his Martin-produced album, and he did a great set; and Sharp, from The Alarm, now a troubadour extraordinaire) joined everyone on stage for Will The Circle Be Unbroken.
I was CD monitor for the night (at my own suggestion) and had some nice chats with people (sorry for not saying goodbye Bev but I got swallowed up by dressing-room-itis) but I was invited up to sing The Airship Song in a tribute to Charlie Poole and it was nice that some people sang along to that as well.
And it was lovely to see Veronique there taking photos again. Soon it will be pelican time, Veronique.
There... I seem to have written a mini-review in spite of myself!

City Fun- Archive Chefs Review

Many thanks to Caz Blaise for this, which she came across while looking for female-edited punk and post-punk fanzines on the City Fun archive website here http://www.mdmarchive.co.uk/cityfun/:

In the process of doing, I came across this review of The Chef's '24 Hours/Lets Make

Up/Someone I  know' and thought you might like to see it. It was in number 17

of volume 2, which I think is 1981.

"Pleasant uptempo pop which could be played on national radio and not upset anyone,

yet would enrich the airwaves. But this record will probably never be heard.

This is unfortunate as it will mean the confining of the Chefs (including the gloriously named Helen McCookerybook) to John Peel and collectors of short, snappy tunes of an off beat nature"

If you can help Cazz, drop me a line helen_mccookerybook@yahoo.co.uk

Martin Stephenson plus Guests at The Borderline Tonight! Put a Little Sunshine In Your Life!

http://mamacolive.com/theborderline/listings/upcoming-events/16767/martin-stephenson-plus-guests/

Psychedelic Leaf

Gaye Black, Curator

Gaye Black, who played bass with The Adverts, is now an artists and curator and she sent this flyer yesterday. Her events are a blast and this is well worth going to!

Surreal Tube Driver Announcement, 12.30 Last Night

'Good evening everyone, we are now approaching High Barnet station.
On leaving the train, please make sure you have all your belongings with you.
Especially small objects like keys and mobile phones.
And if you have small children with you, make sure you have all their shoes, toys... and socks.
We're all very tired. Goodnight!'

As I walked up the hill, as small field-mouse was darting about in the dark, inspecting a huge pond of pink chunky vomit.

Brain

That's it!
I'm going out for a walk.
Had enough of marking.
My brain is custard.
Here is a snap I took of the Suburban Pastoral chewing gum album artwork painting in its current state: a true example of Green Artwork that returns to nature once it's finished!

And this is the original in all it's juicy glowing glory. The album itself is available through clicking the link below the picture if you want to hear the music that goes with the painting!
Thanks again to the wonderful painter Ben Wilson for his imagination and courage.
http://helenmccookerybook.bandcamp.com/album/suburban-pastoral

24 Hours Lyrics

From 1979, I think. I was trying to sound like Donna Summer and didn't realise that Giorgio Moroder used machines to make his bass lines. this must have been the most knackering song in the universe to perform live and I don't think I ever did the singing justice when we played it at gigs. I must have had the biceps of Tom of Finland back then; now I have the arms of Swiss Tony and it's not good.
This song has been released by Damaged Goods as part of a compilation of tracks by The Chefs, available here: http://www.damagedgoods.co.uk/band/?c=The-Chefshttp://www.damagedgoods.co.uk/band/?c=The-Chefs
Damaged Goods will also be releasing the Helen and the Horns Peel Sessions later this year.

Free Download

Just made iPhone recording of 'Big Brother is Watching You' into a free download http://www.reverbnation.com/helenmccookerybook

Clarks

Thought they were the shoes your Mum forced you to wear as a kid? Think again!