Dog

One a ponce a time, I shared a house with a girl who had a very naughty dog.
When he was particularly naughty, she used to ask him, 'D'you wanna slap?'
I thought that was funny. What if he'd answered her, in a very posh voice, 'No thank you actually. I would rather have a mutton chop, followed by half a pound of liver in a rich meaty gravy, with one and a half Bonios and a can of Pedigree Chum, all served on a silver platter'.
That would have surprised her, wouldn't it?